Past, Present, Future

 

As I sit here and pour out my heart in writing, there are plenty of emotions running through me. On a day to day basis we are so hell bent on marking the “next thing” off our list. When I began taking my prerequisites for my nursing career, I took on a full load. It was my first time as a college student and although I LOVE writing papers I failed my first semester.

Why did I fail if I am so passionate about it? Simple. I didn’t’ have a schedule. I didn’t make time-enough time to read then go back and quiz myself. There was no family guidance since I was the first to attend college. My lack of knowledge and unwillingness to seek help when needed caused me to bomb my class with a 70 as my cumulative grade. –Oh the pain. Honestly, I felt as total crap and an absolute failure. Little did I know, this would be an emotion I would carry with me practically through my entire nursing program.

What caused success? I made TIME to read. As soon as the scheduled assignments hit my course, I would jot them down and categorize how I could tackle them 2 weeks prior. This particular method caused me from drowning in all courses.

What I didn’t know is that it wouldn’t be enough to carry with me after graduating. My eyes have always been on the prize and when I failed, I took it hard. They were all lessons, molding me to become a better individual-a better nurse. People call me crazy,” How on earth can you pick up ANOTHER book to read? I’m so over reading, we’ve been doing that the entire time we were in school.” It’s simple again. I am eager. Eager to learn from my mistakes, how to make better choices, and ultimately, I recognize that we will forever be learning in the healthcare field.

So the real deal is if you’re reading this and struggling:

-Go back to your basics. Work your way up from there.

-Break it down into categories and test yourself.

-“Make it Stick” was a book I read about 8 months ago that helped me recognize how important quizzing yourself rather than just going back to review notations helps tremendously with your memory recall. It is painful-time consuming, but well worth it.

-Once you have broken it down into categories and quizzed yourself assess your weakness and highlight those.

 

I had to learn that even though I got an answer correct the first time, I needed to verify whether I was on the right track in the first place, therefore, I would read a rationale or research it.

All in all, it’s important to remember that this too shall pass. You used to think you weren’t going to make it out of that semester, then you did. You thought you weren’t going to graduate, but then you did. You had bumps in the road, but if failure didn’t exist we wouldn’t recognize how much hard work we have put into making our journeys worth it.

Fighting inner desires; Speaking truth

 

 

 

I’ve been caught between a family battle built around bullshit and lies. What do you do in the midst of these situations? If you were to have spoken to me 5 years ago, my response would absolutely be different than today.

 

As we get older, family has begun to be the center of what we want in our lives. We tend to realize that maybe, just maybe, we’re finally getting what our parents were drilling in our heads over so many years. “family is important- we fight, but you only get one.” I’m all too familiar with the strained relationships and falling apart family gatherings, where sometimes you can be the subject of gossip.

In 2019, right after graduating nursing school I lost my grandfather. That man was known for taking good care of himself and always staying up to date on the latest political news. He fell ill, and doctors had yet to figure out what was occurring. After many months, readmissions to hospitals, they did the best they could and discharged him in Dallas, Texas. He lost his battle in Rochester, MN. Upon having a conversation with 4 different specialists, I had summed up that he had about a 25% ejection fracture and stage 4 lung cancer (undetected in other hospitals.)

Prior to getting on my flight to MN, my father said to me a long time ago that I should pay more visits to my grandfather because one day I could regret it. That was all that I could think of as I walked through the airport to board my flight with my infant. After he was laid to rest, the family battles continued.

Continuously being degraded by someone dear to my heart, my normal response would be to not respond at all. I would allow this individual to get away with making me feel less worthy than the rest. Anything to keep the peace. Little did I know, every bit I allowed them to take from me, was leaving me burned. Burned to the next. Falling into the same cycle of allowing others to speak to me whichever way they desired. But I read about speaking truth to bullshit and lies. Being civil. And sometimes it can feel shitty to stand alone, but when you stand for what is right, you have created an inner peace with yourself that nothing else can measure to.

The rules I followed were:

  1. Listen to what they have to say. You don’t have to agree, but make sure you’re listening to understand.
  2. Stand your ground on what you ultimately believe is true-call them out on their bullshit in a civil way.
  3. Find a solution where both parties are willing to compromise.
  4. Be an advocator for truth. It can be ugly- you can be all alone and get some severe pushback. You will get dirty, but the reward is great.

 

My grandfather taught me some important rules- Never once while he was alive did it occur to me. Before you lose family and the chance for them to instill great values in you, reach out. Learn to love, learn to forgive, learn to listen.

Call out the bullshit-speak truth-be civil. This is my 2020 rule.

 

 

Being Part of the Wilderness

 

 

Recently I made a commitment to put more time into picking up a good read and sticking to it. Scott and I made a couple of trips to Half Price Books/Barnes & Noble and began to scour the floors. I was desperately seeking a new read. I was looking for something to capture my heart and just run with it.

 

Stumbled upon this book, “Braving The Wilderness” by Brene Brown. It was a wonderful book to have in my hands with ending 2019 and walking into 2020. My last post on Instagram, I stated wanting to leave friendships/ connections in my past if they weren’t willing to accept my boundaries and respect my limitations. This book will provide you with some great tools for all of us that need that little extra attention to our wounds.

 

As Maya Angelou said, “You are only free when you realize you belong no place- you belong every place- no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”

 

When I first read this, I just couldn’t grasp what she was saying. I continued to read this book and recognized that I had finally come across a being that could resonate with my heart on a daily basis. Have you ever been in a constant battle where you find yourself changing subtle things about you in order to “fit in” or “not stir the pot”? I think we have ALL been there.

 

It’s been one hell of a road trip walking through life being an outsider and looking for your “crew.” I’m all too familiar with this in every important memory of my life. One of my greatest weaknesses is looking back on past friendships and trying to re-evaluate what I had done wrong that caused our friendship to strain and go “sour”. I never really considered that some friendships just aren’t meant to be “lifetime” friendships. Have you ever felt that way? This piercing to your heart you can’t seem to get rid of. Constantly assessing whether you are the root to the problem.

 

Listen, I think it’s important to recognize your hurt and work through it rather than use it as a shield and not allow other friendships to flourish. We run to social media for human interaction, that’s what 2017-2019 has been all about. What about the face-to-face interaction? The feeling of joy we receive and connection that feels like fire when we can talk in person for hours? How about laying out new paths and working on developing new skills to tackle those feelings of inadequacy?

 

I’ve thought long and hard over this as I read over this book. As Scott and I were walking through the bookstore, I turned to him and said, “It would be nice to start a book club with some people. They don’t even have to be women I know, just anyone that is willing to put some time to the side to come together and talk about things that connect us in ways we thought we struggled with alone.”

 

Scott said I should go ahead and try it, but then fear kicked in. What if, what if I reach out and no one responds? What if I am overthinking that people still get together and do these sorts of things?

 

I was going against exactly what I had just read. Braving the wilderness is standing alone in what you believe is right and being vulnerable with courage to work through what you fear/desire. Sometimes people will stand with you, and sometimes you will be all alone. But I have a wild heart, and I’m choosing to make this part of my life.

 

After all, we can only learn what we read if we put it into practice.

 

Here are a few things I learned:

 

Boundaries— “You respect my boundaries, and when you’re not clear about what’s okay and not okay, you ask. You’re willing to say no.”

 

Reliability— “You do what you say you’ll do. This means staying aware of your competencies and are able to deliver on commitments and balance competing priorities.”

 

Accountability— “You own your own mistakes, apologize, and make amends.”

 

Vault— “You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share. I need to know that my confidences are kept, and that you’re not sharing with me any information about other people that should be confidential.”

 

Integrity— “You choose courage over comfort. You choose what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. And you choose to practice your values rather than simply professing them.”

 

Nonjudgment—” I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for what you need. We can talkami about how we feel without judgment.”

 

Generosity— “You extend the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words, and actions of others.”

 

Lastly, if you’re reading this, I hope you feel inspired to stay true to yourself, be part of the wilderness, and hopefully reach out to me and join me for some coffee and good talks over a book possibly?

 

I look forward to hearing from you all.

 

 

 

Passing the NCLEX and The Aftermath

Welcome back, guys.

 

It’s been well over a month since I have blogged anything. I’ve sat around putting my thoughts in order. They have felt scattered for the last few months, so it was necessary to take some time to recollect myself. From the moment I agreed to start this blog, I had been working on what was holding me back from many things…PASSING THE NCLEX. After the first experience of failure, I hid in the shadows to continue my work. Possibly due to the amount of embarrassment I felt that I couldn’t pass on my first attempt as everyone else. As you know, if you have read my previous blogs, this situation sent me spiraling downward in my mental and physical health, that caused a lot of strain on my relationships.

Nevertheless, what kept me pushing forward were also those random inspirational messages I received from my followers. Thank you x1000. In the journey to passing, I had to look within and recognize my weaknesses. I worked hard and diligently towards my success. I came out failing, and in weak moments I questioned my ability to become a nurse. How is this possible? People, listen up. Words are POWERFUL. Be careful what you say and when you say it. After my first attempt of taking the NCLEX, I sent many messages crying out in hopes someone would listen to my aching heart. I received words of encouragement, but also messages that had no emotion or they didn’t understand where I was coming from.

 

Someone near and dear to my heart at the time stated that, “Passing the NCLEX was one of the easiest things out of being a nurse.” Can we take a step back? How does this make you feel? Oh guys, this is powerful. I received this sentence in an actual paragraph, and to be VERY honest with you, I don’t remember the rest of what this person said because in my eyes it was all horseshit to cover up what was really on their heart-doubt, frustration, bitterness.

 

I learned to dig deep. These experiences have brought me many lessons. They have opened my eyes to recognize all the individuals that are supportive of my journey and have put into perspective that not everyone is rooting for your success. I took that sense of fear and vulnerability and used it to propel towards my success.

 

This time around, I walked into the NCLEX confident of my abilities. I walked out 3.5 hours later with my test shutting off at 111 questions. 48 hours later I learned I had passed. I checked my results alone while lying in bed. I cried. All my hard work had paid off and I felt that weight lifted off of my shoulders. I made a promise to myself, to help others that need it. To provide words of hope along the way; be a person that I NEEDED in my time of desperation.

 

    What did this journey teach me?

 

  • Passing the NCLEX at 75 questions does not determine how good of a nurse you are. It simply tells you that you have met the requirements to be licensed as a nurse and are a good test-taker.
  • Being hard on myself and working on my weaknesses has given me more knowledge than others around me.
  • Answering questions with confidence instead of fearing that I am incorrect.
  • Most importantly, this test does not determine what type of nurse you will be to patients in need. What your bedside manner will be like, or whether you will put 110% into making sure you bring that person’s heart back from a flat line to give their loved ones a chance to say their goodbyes.

 

 

 

We are all here to learn, and in a profession that is absolutely more populated with women, we should be more supportive of one another. Being so eager to move forward to the next step in our lives, we never take the time to breathe in and enjoy our surroundings. This journey has been a moment of clarity for me. I’ve truly learned that if I want it, I need to get it.

Continue to fight for your hearts desires; receive guidance when needed-continue to have an open mind. Take a step back and celebrate your success. You’ve passed that exam, you’ve gotten your degree. You’ve worked hard for those accomplishments. I’ve been on running mode since I graduated nursing school; it’s all I knew to do. But these little moments of success, smiles, the fear, the growing, you only see every once in a while. Give yourself some credit; take the time to be at a standstill because you WANT TO BE.

 

 We are the shit.

 

Love,

Bianca

 

Healthy Blueberry Oatmeal Breakfast Bars

Happy 1st of November guys!

For the past few months I have been experimenting in my kitchen, trying to come up with some different recipes for food. Don’t you ever feel like your rotation of meals throughout the week just become so “blah” and you need more variety? I have been having that vibe lately and I’m pretty sure my family can agree. So I took it upon myself to hop on board to Pinterest and other sites looking for different meals! 

Now, not all the meals I have been cooking are “healthy” per say, but within the past 2 months (or so) I have been implementing more of that into my own lifestyle. Kroger recently had a major sale on their fruits & veggies. We decided to stock up, so I froze a bunch of bananas, strawberries, & blueberries. WELL, the bananas were gone within the first couple of days. I LOVE BANANAS I couldn’t help myself. 

As I was scrolling through Pinterest, which by the way I have yet to completely figure it out, I noticed a BUNCH of recipes were super UNHEALTHY, and as much as I LOVE sugar, I’m really trying to stay away. 

I’m sure everyones been enjoying this weather. Dallas got hit with a tornado last week, really unexpected in OCTOBER, geez. Glad that everyone was completely safe. I’ve been trying to stay in for the most part. AJ has been enjoying the recent hikes and walks we’re taking, but I have been minimizing those due to the consistent drastic change in weather; I would hate for her to get sick. 

What are your thoughts in taking your little one out jogging with you in about 40-50 degree weather?-Am I overly worried about it? I feel like I can totally be that mom sometimes, ya know? 

With running and being at the lake on my mind, I kept thinking, “I seriously could use a snack right about now.” So BAM! Let me drop this recipe for you right below:

Blueberry Oatmeal Breakfast Bars

2—        Bananas (medium ripe)

2 cups—Blueberries, Frozen

2 tbsp— Maple syrup 

1 cup—  Fashion gluten free oats, old

2 tsp—  Cinnamon, ground

1 cup—  Gluten free oat flour

1/2 tsp— Salt

2 tbsp— Oil (optional)

2 tbsp— Flaxseed, ground

  1. Thaw the frozen blueberries in a bowl and sprinkle the flaxseed that was called for this recipe; set aside.
  2. Mash bananas (or puree them in your ninja blender as I did) and combine them with the oat flour, old fashion oats, ground cinnamon, salt, maple syrup and oil (if you decide to add it). Mix all the ingredients until a loose dough forms; set aside 3/4 a cup for the top of your meal bars.
  3. Spray your 8×8 pan with oil then proceed to spread your crust evenly throughout. Pour your blueberries on and spread evenly as well.
  4. Grab spoonfuls of the crust you set aside and that will be your last layer to add to the top of your oatmeal bars.
  5. Bake to 350 degrees for 30 mins OR till golden brown on the top. 

Honestly guys, I felt as though the ingredients for these were SO SIMPLE! You’re going to LOVE these oatmeal bars!

Minimal ingredients + Simple recipe= super EASY baking

They are refined sugar free and flourless whole grain bars to DIE for! With enough natural sweetness to them that they honestly DON’T need any added sugar to them! I had my oldest daughter try some and she LOVED them! I’ve decided to not only bake them for myself, but implement these bad boys into rotation. If there’s ever a moment I can get my kids to eat healthy, I am all in & won’t complain. 

Most likely I will be looking into baking something that involves raspberries as I have some in my fridge this week! Any suggestions? I was thinking about making some raspberry oatmeal bars, but I did notice a lot of recipes call for “raspberry preserves.”

I hope you and your family enjoy these healthy breakfast bars just as much as my family did! As I sip on my coffee this morning and eat one of my breakfast bars, let me leave you with a good verse:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE.”  -Jeremiah 29:11

Depression and Weight Gain

I was listening to a Podcast on TedTalks over authenticity. Allowing yourself to be creative rather than attempting to get a higher number of “followers” on social media.

Do you feel as though there is a thin line between the two? Is it possible to seek a lot of followers and also remain authentic?

 

Times have changed and as technology grabs ahold of us and our younger generation, we seem to hop on social media to see how much attention we can grab. But at what point does it change for us OR change us?

 

A while back, I had discussed with a good friend about my dreams of blogging. I explained my fears and that I also felt I had a lot of wisdom to offer others. Although I am still in my 20’s, it seems as though I have gone through more than what the average adult typically does, and that’s OKAY as long as I am using my experiences to better my future.

 

So, let’s get to the topic of discussion for today— DEPRESSION AND WEIGHT GAIN

The daunting words no one ever wants to discuss due to being afraid of getting labeled. And let’s keep it real everyone, once we are labeled as “something” it’s difficult to really not view a person for that any longer. I never struggled with depression until I hit my late 20’s and I felt that something I should have easily accomplished I miserably failed at.

It was a hard pill to swallow and a realization I was not ready to face. I had my 3rddaughter in April of 2019 and almost went down to my “pre-baby” weight soon after. It was in a very UNHEALTHY way as I was struggling with life’s normal curveballs and trying not to have a mental breakdown in nursing school.

After failing my state licensing exam, I cried for almost 3 weeks straight. The idea of doing anything else outside of studying was beyond comprehension. I beat myself up (which I explain in my prior blog post “failing the nclex”) and suddenly felt depression hit me even though I was not willing to recognize it.

When we’re in nursing school we are given all these books over mental health issues. We got out and complete clinical rotations on assessments of patients that may have some mental illness. After gathering all data and implementing a nursing diagnosis, we move onto our next patient. It’s all quite different when it hits you and it hits your home. I suddenly felt that I was not myself. No longer wanting to go to events or even THINK about gathering with all my classmates that had already passed their NCLEX.

 

I stayed clear and I avoided most group chat messages. My husband that loves me dearly would try to console me. Little did I know I was affecting my household with my aura. I ate so much that I ended gaining a good 20lbs. Fearful of what the number on the scale would be, I just avoided it. Reality check for me was when I tried to fit into my favorite blue jeans and I looked down, noticing that I was getting a hole between my thighs from the constant rubbing.

 

Unable to register what was really occurring, I did the best I could to manage. I didn’t’ want to be someone on medication. Who wants to come out and openly admit that they have depression issues and they need help? I sound crazy, right? Being a medical professional myself, I am unable to voice my own concerns.

What did it take? One morning I woke up; looking in the mirror I felt so disgusted with myself. Not just the physical guys, but the internal as well. I strayed from Jesus, I was gaining weight, keeping my pain internal. I knew something had to change. You know what I noticed? I realized I was being the SAME as all these other individuals that HIDE their emotions & only show their “picture perfect” lives. I lost my authenticity. We’re human, we will all struggle; How can I retrieve my authenticity if I am unwilling to open up what I am withholding internally?

 

  1. I chose myself. Making a commitment to be present for myself every day.
  2. Re-evaluated some areas and made sure that I was bringing to LIGHT my inadequacies.
  3. Recognized that the NCLEX is just another test that I WILL pass when MY TIME comes; This test does not determine my level of PASSION for this profession.
  4. I consciously have made a decision to improve my health and speak UP if I need help.
  5. Understand that PRIDE can also be a factor that keeps us at a standstill.
  6. Bring to the surface that darkness I was feeling so I could learn how to tackle this beast with family & friend support.

 

Ladies and Gents, it is hard as hell. BUT it is worth it. Make a commitment to be present for yourself EVERY DAY. Bring to light your internal pain so others can help you GROW through it. Be a voice, so others can see that IT’S OKAY to go through these waves as well and speak about it. Speaking up, using your voice, can save lives.

 

Until Next time, guys.

 

B.Settegast

 

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10

 

 

 

Misplaced Faith

Have you ever lost track of your faith?

 

I recall those times when I was heavily into reading my bible on a regular basis along with attending church every Sunday. At what point did it change for you?

Attending school while being a mother took a lot of my time and energy. I started to feel the constant demand of everything that I started searching for “things” I could cut off from my normal schedule.

 

At the time, cutting out attending church was the most “logical” to do. My home church I attended was about 35 minutes away from my home. Being a student, I didn’t have the means to constantly fill up my car to make it to bible study and church on Sundays. My thoughts were that “of course you don’t have to attend church to be within God’s word, so I’ll just read my bible on my own.” I did a good job at it, until slowly the time I dedicated to it diminished tremendously. Making excuses for myself, “school & family are taking up most of my time”, soon I was no longer reading my bible & other things filled up my time.

 

Have you ever pulled away from the good Lord’s word and immediately started feeling that disconnection? I don’t know about you, but it took me some time to really figure out that I NEEDED that connection with Jesus.

 

Having gone through an ugly divorce a couple of years back at that time, Jesus & my church people truly paved the way to strengthen my foundation as a newly single mother. I relied on that needed gathering time to be in a room of individuals that struggled with similar situations as I did. Listening to others conquer their fears provided me with hope that the future would be better & brighter.  After I had done some healing, I decided it was time to look for a relationship.

 

Once I had disconnected from the word of God, I noticed I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I came across individuals whose intentions seemed good on the outside, but once I started looking for a deeper connection, our hearts were no longer aligned. It took a good 6 months of trying to work alone in my search that I desperately KNEW I was in need of God’s word & God’s people. I felt that tugging happening to my heart that caused an instant shift in gears.

 

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. “ – Proverbs 3:5-6

 

That’s one of my favorite verses since I was given my very first bible at the age of 18.

 

I stopped searching for love and I let go of the hurt I had endured. Having several conversations with my loved ones and close friends, I knew the right choice was for me to dive into my work and Jesus’s word and let events occur.

 

A few months later, I came across an individual that respected my faith, accepted my current circumstances, & was willing to dive into a deeper stimulating conversation with me. We began dating shortly after, married a year later & had a beautiful baby girl. Many of you probably think, “Wow, that was pretty fast girl!” Truth is, I honestly felt as if I had known him my entire life.

 

Things you could possibly learn from:

 

I had to learn that someone’s faith did not need to be EXACTLY like mine. Sure, having this in common with your significant other can make things easier on your relationship, but as long as they are not trying to pull you away from your faith, I personally think you’re fine. Who knows, you may make an impression on them and get them to start joining you at church!

 

My home church that is far away from me is indeed one of the places that has made me feel so welcomed over the last 4 years. I believe that I may begin looking for another place to call my home that does not require traveling a far distance. It hurts to leave a place that I love, but as a loved one once told me, “The important thing is to be able to consistently get Jesus’s word on a regular basis. And if this church is just too far away causing you to not attend regularly, then you should look into finding another home with more of God’s people.”

At that time, I was in denial of doing so. We are stubborn as humans, but once again I feel God tugging at my heart and as a mother to 3 beautiful, fast growing girls, it’s time that I start recognizing that I should be establishing a foundation for them as well, not just my own selfish needs.

 

So today I leave you with some of my favorite scriptures that always cause me to think. This weekend I will make an attempt to visit a church that is closer to my home. If you’re experiencing similar circumstances, I suggest you grab ahold of that fear that’s driving you away and push it to drive you TOWARDS your next destination.

 

Take care guys. Until next time,

B. Settegast

 

“Be on your guard, stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.” – 1 Corinthians 16:13

 

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” – 2 Corinthians 4:17

 

 

I have failed the NCLEX twice! What I have learned..

Hi there! 

It feels good to be back. I had decided to take a month away from writing so I could bring in other topics to discuss along with giving my brain a bit of a resting period (kinda).

As some of you know if you have read my bio, I recently graduated from nursing school. Once you graduate you are required to take your state boards exam for whatever state you currently reside in. On July 16, 2019 I took my NCLEX for the first time and FAILED! My test went all the way to 265 questions and it took me the entire 6 hours to complete.

The resources I used to study prior to my testing date was Uworld. I completed almost the entire test bank with about 500 questions remaining. Instead of breaking down the material by system, I decided to tackle it at “random” because the reality of it is that you will not get your exam by “category” when you are testing. 

Once my results came in which took about 4 weeks, it categorized my exam for me and it rates you as “Above, Near, or Below passing standard”. All of my categories (which are 7 I believe), rated me at “near passing standard”.

Feeling defeated as I worked so hard and to know that I was so close, made things harder for me to process. If you have failed your NCLEX you are required to have a waiting period of 45 days prior to being able to test again. Nevertheless, I persisted. I waited my 45 days, submitted my application to the Texas Board of Nursing and Pearson Vue NCLEX-RN. 

This time around, I used 4 resources to make sure that I was getting enough information as possible. I recognized my weak points and decided to tackle those first. Using Uworld, Hurst, Kaplan, and Mark Klimek audios. Personally, I felt that I was strong in my area of content, so I scheduled the following testing date- October 5th.

Testing date came again, I scheduled at a different testing center along with a much earlier time than my prior attempt. I went all the way to 265 and almost ran out of time this go around! In disbelief, especially with how confident I felt with the first 75 questions of the bank. As many of you already know, so I won’t go into details, the NCLEX is CAT based, therefore, it will shut off once it has been able to gauge where you stand in your knowledge base.

I waited for about an hour after leaving the testing center and decided to do the Pearson Vue Trick. I got the BAD POP-UP! Feeling hurt and frustrated, I waited the 48 hours and got my “unofficial results” that indeed I FAILED. Trying to comprehend what had occurred I had to learn to gather my thoughts and create and list to assess what I had done on my first attempt, what I did this attempt, & where I was lacking…

FIRST ATTEMPT:

  1. I used Uworld as a study guide as I had heard many good things about it. 
  2. I studied for about 3 weeks prior to taking the NCLEX-RN
  3. Just recently had given birth to my Alice, so she was almost 3 months, when I tested. And if there are any moms out there, she was NOT on a sleeping schedule.
  4. I only slept 2 hours the day before my exam & I scheduled for 2pm.
  5. I did not eat prior to going into the testing center.
  6. I studied hardcore trying to retain any last bit of info that I could. 

Overall with my first attempt, I felt that I should have studied a bit longer, ACTUALLY slept and had something to eat before going into the testing center. 

SECOND ATTEMPT:

  1. Used 4 resources (Kaplan, Uworld, Hurst, Mark Klimek)
  2. I completed the entire Hurst book & took notes on all 4 resources combining them into 1 book.
  3. I SLEPT!
  4. Had a light breakfast before going into the center along with my normal coffee routine.
  5. I felt confident & my anxiety was not through the roof as my prior attempt.

 

So why did I fail the second time around although I felt so much more prepared?

After getting home and having a conversation with Scott (my husband), we were able to boil it down to my misunderstanding of the comprehension of the questions. I’m unable to understand what the question is asking OF me & did not apply different strategies to breakdown the questions. IF any of you are struggling with understanding the questions, I recommend you hop on YouTube and search for “Nclex style strategy questions” to strengthen that foundation of ABC’s, first & priority, and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Theory.

Although I am saddened that YET AGAIN, I must wait 45 days to re-take my NCLEX, I’m looking forward to tackling some questions and strengthening my skills. 

Always remember, just because you were unable to pass your NCLEX on the first attempt does not mean you will not be a GREAT nurse! I’ve shadowed nurses that have failed the NCLEX 6 TIMES before getting licensed! Our time will come. Make sure you are always looking at ways to improve your craft & don’t be afraid to ask for help with he areas you need improvement on.

Best of wishes to all of you, until NEXT time!

 

Putting away my smartphone, you should too!

Happy MONDAY! Which happens to be the busiest day of the week for everyone. Back to my topic! 

Interestingly enough, this thought has lingered in my mind for quite some time now:

“What would it be like to completely remove my smartphone from my daily routine?” 

I think it’s an idea for all of us to instantly pick up our cellphones as soon as our day begins. Most of us have our alarm clocks on our cellphones. What ever happened to regular alarm clocks we have to plug into our walls and smack the button to turn it off?- I honestly can’t remember the last time I owned one. We’re all so consumed with our cellphones, after all, they are supposed to make our lives easier, right? 

Do you think you’re using your time as productively as you could be?

Do you feel disciplined enough to not have to put up your smartphone and still manage to have high productivity levels on a regular basis? 

I was listening to a podcast from “Hidden Brain”, Topic: Hidden Work. The special guest on there was basically discussing how he is able to produce high productivity levels on a regular basis once he learned to “give time” to his cellphone rather than his cellphone consuming most of his time. Not consistently looking at your phone at the notifications that pop up or you becoming distracted from your daily work because you decide to scroll through social media. There was a specific article that discusses how much information we actually DO NOT retain when we are studying once we get distracted by an email, text message, or social media. In fact, we end up realizing that we’ve scrolled or are on there for a longer period than we initially planned —-that’s definitely resonates with me. 

Can you think back on the days when you didn’t have a cellphone?

What was your life like?

I’m curious! We’ve been pushed into a world where face-to-face interaction doesn’t often occur. As a matter of fact, most of us can quickly send an email, text, DM on social media and bam, who has to see THAT persons face and deal with the aftermath right then and there? NOT ME! 

But don’t you miss it? Don’t you miss getting out and searching for a new place to eat without having to pull out your cellphone to find the next place to go? Don’t you miss meaningful conversations face to face with people? I have a friend that made a rule for us a long time ago. That if we were to meet up, we had to focus on our conversations and not pick up our cellphones to look at who’s trying to contact us. Give someone your undivided attention! —-I must say I absolutely sucked at it for the first few months. I kept apologizing and explaining how I “needed” to get that message. After a while I realized that my friend legitimately felt that I was not “there” because my mind was also focused elsewhere. 

Fast forward a few years now and Let’s just say your girl has it down. Meaningful conversations with your loved ones you don’t see often, “check”, I got my cellphone put away. But why can’t we apply this rule to our daily lives? How about we put our cellphones down at an event we don’t know ANYONE at and face the music to socialize with others rather than scrolling through social media? —I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve done this little trick. “Scroll scroll scroll, oooo when is such and such gonna show up so I can ACTUALLY lift my head up and start looking around?!” Definitely makes me feel like I’m lacking in my social skills FOR SURE. 

SO I’ve made a decision:

  1. Use my cellphone to speak to people that I need to have a conversation with on a regular basis (such as my husband) and have my phone available Incase my children’s schools contacts me for anything. 
  2. Put my phone far enough away from me where my notifications are turned off, but my ringer is on in case of an emergency. (You’d be surprised at how much my phone doesn’t ring at all because most people nowadays prefer texting) so truthfully I feel I don’t have anything to worry about in that area.
  3. Pick up my laptop and use it to post my daily blogs and check my email, then turn it off once I’m done. All my study material I’m currently using are books that I have in hand so no need to have my iPad, laptop, or cellphone open for that dedicated time. 

With just these few simple steps for the next week (as an experiment) I plan on having higher productivity levels as I sometimes find myself consumed in my smartphone. I’m hoping for more meaningful conversation with individuals, especially when I run into someone and can’t say “oh I totally saw that pic on social media! Such a cute idea/outfit!” I can get my dad to stop saying he finds it funny to walk by Scott and I and see both of us on our cellphones. If adjustments are needed to be made within those steps I’ve written to produce better results then I will tweak them in a week! I’ll give my feedback of a “before and after” in hopes that you decide to take small step into a less complicated daily approach( which can also lower your anxiety levels btw) 

Thanks again for dropping by! Drop a line and let me know your thoughts! I’m absolutely interested whether you’ve done this before! 

Until next week, guys!

Making Time

Life is somewhat of a rollercoaster. At times, we are ZOOMING to get to the peak, but it takes a little more time. Once you reach the peak, you immediately get launched to the next turn. Recently, I had a conversation with a friend that always notices that I’m in a “rush” to get to the next “thing” or “level”, never really taking time to breathe in the moment that I am in. There’s a book I read a year back named “The God of Yes”, definitely recommend it. I love the feel of a book in my hands as I’m turning pages.  One particular chapter discusses that we are sometimes so eager to move to the next season of our lives, that we forget to enjoy the season that we are currently in.

The season that you are currently in can be really crappy, stressful, or demanding of our daily needs, but take the time to enjoy the experiences you are having and the lessons you are learning in the midst of the chaos. Now that I have had time to be at home with my family after 3 (what felt like) LONG years of Nursing School, I’m finally able to see the areas that needed some cleaning and where I may have been lacking as a mother.

Have you ever felt that need to race to the finish line? Who are you in competition with?! SLOW DOWN! It is OKAY to take a break and enjoy the little things in life. If you’re anything like me and have kids, maybe you want to enjoy the moments where they are growing and venturing into new things, or hitting those milestones you wouldn’t typically be able to see because you’re so focused on another project in your life.

Take time for you. I’ve decided to pick up running. I chose this for many reasons. A few years back I was an avid runner, and I did it because it made me feel great while also keeping me in shape and decreasing my stress levels. I’m content that I am back on this ride & hope that I can meet some new goals pretty soon. If you don’t enjoy running or the idea of it, I recommend you at least give it a TRY!

Years ago, I hated the idea of even getting out to run just to “run”. I used to see runners all the time and say, “Yeah, they are crazy.” But after I realized I was in a failed marriage and the only outlet I had was to get to running, I immediately began to enjoy the feeling it gave me in return. Remember to make time for yourself. Make time to enjoy life. Life is so short and the moments we spend on this earth are worth SO much more than we realize. Pick up a book and read; Find a new hobby; Get out and venture your city or the cities next to yours. You never know what you’ll find.

Weigh in and let me know what you think! I would love to hear from you! Until next week guys.