I’ve been caught between a family battle built around bullshit and lies. What do you do in the midst of these situations? If you were to have spoken to me 5 years ago, my response would absolutely be different than today.
As we get older, family has begun to be the center of what we want in our lives. We tend to realize that maybe, just maybe, we’re finally getting what our parents were drilling in our heads over so many years. “family is important- we fight, but you only get one.” I’m all too familiar with the strained relationships and falling apart family gatherings, where sometimes you can be the subject of gossip.
In 2019, right after graduating nursing school I lost my grandfather. That man was known for taking good care of himself and always staying up to date on the latest political news. He fell ill, and doctors had yet to figure out what was occurring. After many months, readmissions to hospitals, they did the best they could and discharged him in Dallas, Texas. He lost his battle in Rochester, MN. Upon having a conversation with 4 different specialists, I had summed up that he had about a 25% ejection fracture and stage 4 lung cancer (undetected in other hospitals.)
Prior to getting on my flight to MN, my father said to me a long time ago that I should pay more visits to my grandfather because one day I could regret it. That was all that I could think of as I walked through the airport to board my flight with my infant. After he was laid to rest, the family battles continued.
Continuously being degraded by someone dear to my heart, my normal response would be to not respond at all. I would allow this individual to get away with making me feel less worthy than the rest. Anything to keep the peace. Little did I know, every bit I allowed them to take from me, was leaving me burned. Burned to the next. Falling into the same cycle of allowing others to speak to me whichever way they desired. But I read about speaking truth to bullshit and lies. Being civil. And sometimes it can feel shitty to stand alone, but when you stand for what is right, you have created an inner peace with yourself that nothing else can measure to.
The rules I followed were:
- Listen to what they have to say. You don’t have to agree, but make sure you’re listening to understand.
- Stand your ground on what you ultimately believe is true-call them out on their bullshit in a civil way.
- Find a solution where both parties are willing to compromise.
- Be an advocator for truth. It can be ugly- you can be all alone and get some severe pushback. You will get dirty, but the reward is great.
My grandfather taught me some important rules- Never once while he was alive did it occur to me. Before you lose family and the chance for them to instill great values in you, reach out. Learn to love, learn to forgive, learn to listen.
Call out the bullshit-speak truth-be civil. This is my 2020 rule.
Thanks for your publish. My spouse and i have constantly observed that almost all people are desperate to lose weight since they wish to show up slim along with attractive. Nevertheless, they do not often realize that there are more benefits for you to losing weight additionally. Doctors say that over weight people are afflicted by a variety of conditions that can be perfectely attributed to their excess weight. Fortunately that people who sadly are overweight as well as suffering from numerous diseases can reduce the severity of their own illnesses by means of losing weight. It is easy to see a slow but noted improvement with health when even a moderate amount of weight loss is obtained.