Passing the NCLEX and The Aftermath

Welcome back, guys.

 

It’s been well over a month since I have blogged anything. I’ve sat around putting my thoughts in order. They have felt scattered for the last few months, so it was necessary to take some time to recollect myself. From the moment I agreed to start this blog, I had been working on what was holding me back from many things…PASSING THE NCLEX. After the first experience of failure, I hid in the shadows to continue my work. Possibly due to the amount of embarrassment I felt that I couldn’t pass on my first attempt as everyone else. As you know, if you have read my previous blogs, this situation sent me spiraling downward in my mental and physical health, that caused a lot of strain on my relationships.

Nevertheless, what kept me pushing forward were also those random inspirational messages I received from my followers. Thank you x1000. In the journey to passing, I had to look within and recognize my weaknesses. I worked hard and diligently towards my success. I came out failing, and in weak moments I questioned my ability to become a nurse. How is this possible? People, listen up. Words are POWERFUL. Be careful what you say and when you say it. After my first attempt of taking the NCLEX, I sent many messages crying out in hopes someone would listen to my aching heart. I received words of encouragement, but also messages that had no emotion or they didn’t understand where I was coming from.

 

Someone near and dear to my heart at the time stated that, “Passing the NCLEX was one of the easiest things out of being a nurse.” Can we take a step back? How does this make you feel? Oh guys, this is powerful. I received this sentence in an actual paragraph, and to be VERY honest with you, I don’t remember the rest of what this person said because in my eyes it was all horseshit to cover up what was really on their heart-doubt, frustration, bitterness.

 

I learned to dig deep. These experiences have brought me many lessons. They have opened my eyes to recognize all the individuals that are supportive of my journey and have put into perspective that not everyone is rooting for your success. I took that sense of fear and vulnerability and used it to propel towards my success.

 

This time around, I walked into the NCLEX confident of my abilities. I walked out 3.5 hours later with my test shutting off at 111 questions. 48 hours later I learned I had passed. I checked my results alone while lying in bed. I cried. All my hard work had paid off and I felt that weight lifted off of my shoulders. I made a promise to myself, to help others that need it. To provide words of hope along the way; be a person that I NEEDED in my time of desperation.

 

    What did this journey teach me?

 

• Passing the NCLEX at 75 questions does not determine how good of a nurse you are. It simply tells you that you have met the requirements to be licensed as a nurse and are a good test-taker.
• Being hard on myself and working on my weaknesses has given me more knowledge than others around me.
• Answering questions with confidence instead of fearing that I am incorrect.
• Most importantly, this test does not determine what type of nurse you will be to patients in need. What your bedside manner will be like, or whether you will put 110% into making sure you bring that person’s heart back from a flat line to give their loved ones a chance to say their goodbyes.

 

 

 

We are all here to learn, and in a profession that is absolutely more populated with women, we should be more supportive of one another. Being so eager to move forward to the next step in our lives, we never take the time to breathe in and enjoy our surroundings. This journey has been a moment of clarity for me. I’ve truly learned that if I want it, I need to get it.

Continue to fight for your hearts desires; receive guidance when needed-continue to have an open mind. Take a step back and celebrate your success. You’ve passed that exam, you’ve gotten your degree. You’ve worked hard for those accomplishments. I’ve been on running mode since I graduated nursing school; it’s all I knew to do. But these little moments of success, smiles, the fear, the growing, you only see every once in a while. Give yourself some credit; take the time to be at a standstill because you WANT TO BE.

 

 We are the shit.

 

Love,

Bianca