Tag: support

Passing the NCLEX and The Aftermath

Welcome back, guys.

 

It’s been well over a month since I have blogged anything. I’ve sat around putting my thoughts in order. They have felt scattered for the last few months, so it was necessary to take some time to recollect myself. From the moment I agreed to start this blog, I had been working on what was holding me back from many things…PASSING THE NCLEX. After the first experience of failure, I hid in the shadows to continue my work. Possibly due to the amount of embarrassment I felt that I couldn’t pass on my first attempt as everyone else. As you know, if you have read my previous blogs, this situation sent me spiraling downward in my mental and physical health, that caused a lot of strain on my relationships.

Nevertheless, what kept me pushing forward were also those random inspirational messages I received from my followers. Thank you x1000. In the journey to passing, I had to look within and recognize my weaknesses. I worked hard and diligently towards my success. I came out failing, and in weak moments I questioned my ability to become a nurse. How is this possible? People, listen up. Words are POWERFUL. Be careful what you say and when you say it. After my first attempt of taking the NCLEX, I sent many messages crying out in hopes someone would listen to my aching heart. I received words of encouragement, but also messages that had no emotion or they didn’t understand where I was coming from.

 

Someone near and dear to my heart at the time stated that, “Passing the NCLEX was one of the easiest things out of being a nurse.” Can we take a step back? How does this make you feel? Oh guys, this is powerful. I received this sentence in an actual paragraph, and to be VERY honest with you, I don’t remember the rest of what this person said because in my eyes it was all horseshit to cover up what was really on their heart-doubt, frustration, bitterness.

 

I learned to dig deep. These experiences have brought me many lessons. They have opened my eyes to recognize all the individuals that are supportive of my journey and have put into perspective that not everyone is rooting for your success. I took that sense of fear and vulnerability and used it to propel towards my success.

 

This time around, I walked into the NCLEX confident of my abilities. I walked out 3.5 hours later with my test shutting off at 111 questions. 48 hours later I learned I had passed. I checked my results alone while lying in bed. I cried. All my hard work had paid off and I felt that weight lifted off of my shoulders. I made a promise to myself, to help others that need it. To provide words of hope along the way; be a person that I NEEDED in my time of desperation.

 

    What did this journey teach me?

 

  • Passing the NCLEX at 75 questions does not determine how good of a nurse you are. It simply tells you that you have met the requirements to be licensed as a nurse and are a good test-taker.
  • Being hard on myself and working on my weaknesses has given me more knowledge than others around me.
  • Answering questions with confidence instead of fearing that I am incorrect.
  • Most importantly, this test does not determine what type of nurse you will be to patients in need. What your bedside manner will be like, or whether you will put 110% into making sure you bring that person’s heart back from a flat line to give their loved ones a chance to say their goodbyes.

 

 

 

We are all here to learn, and in a profession that is absolutely more populated with women, we should be more supportive of one another. Being so eager to move forward to the next step in our lives, we never take the time to breathe in and enjoy our surroundings. This journey has been a moment of clarity for me. I’ve truly learned that if I want it, I need to get it.

Continue to fight for your hearts desires; receive guidance when needed-continue to have an open mind. Take a step back and celebrate your success. You’ve passed that exam, you’ve gotten your degree. You’ve worked hard for those accomplishments. I’ve been on running mode since I graduated nursing school; it’s all I knew to do. But these little moments of success, smiles, the fear, the growing, you only see every once in a while. Give yourself some credit; take the time to be at a standstill because you WANT TO BE.

 

 We are the shit.

 

Love,

Bianca

 

High School Dropout to Nursing School Graduate

Be A Leader

      Have you ever felt you needed to make a decision you were not prepared to make, but no longer had other options? That’s how I felt when I had to walk into my high school and withdraw from all my courses. I remember going through every hall, getting my form signed by my teachers. Algebra was a course I struggled with, and my instructor Mrs. Johnson was ALWAYS giving me such a hard time. As I regretted approaching her class, I put my big girl panties on and proceeded to knock on her door. She stepped outside and I handed her my form. Before I could open my mouth, she instantly began telling me I was making a big mistake; dropping out of high school was not the only option I had. Tears just started falling because little did she know, I didn’t want to give up on my education; From a young age I knew that my schooling would be the only thing that would save me from bad financial situations in my adulthood. I walked away with my head down, said my goodbye’s and never looked back.
      A few months later, I was thanking God for the angel he had brought into my life. She welcomed me into her home with open arms regardless if I was not her blood relative. She provided me with myFIRST bible ( which I still have till this day), and she pushed me to get my GED. I didn’t know where to begin, or how even to study for this. I felt completely unprepared, so I did the best I could do with the circumstances. I began studying the material I collected within the years I was in high school. Once I felt I was comfortable, I scheduled my test, paid my $100 dollar fee. I sat outside in Downtown Dallas with the sun blazing in the end of May. June rolled by, and I picked up the mail, my results had come in-I passed my GED with high scores. That feeling of RELIEF came over me. To be very honest with you I never felt that I had what it took to get my GED. Half of the time through school I was having so many family issues that it was difficult to focus on my studies. 
    Immediately I began applying for jobs that required me to either have a diploma or a GED. I felt accomplished for once in my life. It didn’t take long for that feeling to suddenly disappear and begin having a feeling of emptiness watching all my prior classmates heading off to college. 
    Fast forward a few years, a lot of working, a lot of sacrifice. I came to a point in my life where I had reached the “Cap” for the job I was doing at the time and I knew that I didn’t want to be a lab tech forever. I began researching how to pursue my dreams (getting into nursing school and progressing in life), and it was HARD! I had so much fear and to be honest, luck had never really been on my side, so I felt that my dreams were just not possible. Maybe I’m just meant to be an average person, nothing wrong with that right? 
   I worked 3rd shift at the hospital. In order to study while I was working when the hours were dead, I would push my cart with my book in front of me. I studied and hardly ever slept between needing income for my daughters, and needing to study to get accepted into nursing school. I took my test twice and FAILED! I felt so defeated and thoughts were rushing through my head that maybe I am just not cut out for this type of stuff. BUT every time I was assigned to cover ER when a trauma would come in, I felt this rush that I belonged there. I bought one more book (on top of the 5 I already had) and decided to give it one more shot. A few hours later after testing, it was confirmed that I indeed had passed my test and now I just needed to interview with the board of directors to determine whether I was an individual they wanted in there school. 
    I WAS ACCEPTED! I made a commitment to myself that I would study my behind off, focus on making sure school came first. I had many failures throughout the 3 years of nursing school, but the time finally came to where I was able to walk across THAT STAGE and have all 3 of my DAUGHTERS present and my husband! 
    
        This brings me to tell you to: NEVER GIVE UP! 
I made many mistakes along the way, but I learned a few things that I feel could be beneficial to others. 

1. Surround yourself with like-minded people that are pushing towards their goals and SUPPORT your dreams.

2. Eliminate any distractions; sometimes this means we have to stop going to family events so we can use those valuable hours for study time. 

3. Create a list of GOALS & continuously review it to remind yourself of what you are attempting to accomplish.

4. Create a schedule and do your BEST to stick to it. I have an iPhone and use the Calendar to load my study hours along with my daily mother duties that I need to complete before the end of the day.

5. Lastly, BREATHE! You will have some SETBACKS, but like my family used to tell me all the time, “Dios aprieta, per nunca ahorca”. Learn from your mistakes and create a plan on how you will begin to work on improving those mistakes. 

Much love my lovely people. I hope you can find some of this information useful. 
Weigh in on it and let me know what YOU think! Comment! Give me your feedback. 
Until next time. 🙂